Ideas about WC.

Overall, I have a 70 for my third draft, and I think I really need to work harder to bring that grade up. I have a 2.5 out of 2.5 for my title. So, I’m not planning on changing that part. However, I only have 2 out of 5 for my Introduction sets up the essay. I think I need to provide more background information about the story of the Windfields. I can talk more about the conflicts between Tom and Amanda. I should also mention more about Laura’s weakness in the family as well. I can do so by using the quotes in the scenes or describe how she acts when Tom and Amanda argues. She does nothing but being uselessly sad. The Analytical Thesis statement was even worse: 2 out of 10. I think I was talking about the thesis in general but didn’t summarize it in a complete sentence. That really hurts my grade. I think I need to not only talk about it but also talk about what’s really the most important part. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the role that Jim plays in the whole story. His absence destroys the last bit of Amanda’s hope and turned her character even more ridiculously mean. And that’s where Tom’s patience was used up. The analysis of literary features, discussion of the quoted material, analysis of performance and specific details were good. I just lost few points in each of them. However, I think I still need to go back to those paragraphs and refine my wording and grammar without changing the ideas. The other parts that I really need to work on are the use of topic and ending sentences, and the citations. Ending sentences are really important. I got a nice grade for my conclusion and I should connect it to my ending sentence and talk more about it. The citations are easy to fix. I will make sure to go to the library and ask about the correct way of doing it. After editing the work by myself, I will go to the writing center and have a deeper discussion about it with Mrs. Swift.